A Fair Trade Sundae???

So I treated myself to my yearly Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream treat at this year's US Open. Figured why not drop $7 of my hard earned money on overpriced ice cream. It is for a good cause, like a 450% mark-up and profit to a company who makes $500 million in yearly revenue from ice cream sales (now I know why when you can charge $7 and get away with it). So I walked to the Food Court and came across the Ben & Jerry's booth and felt like I was walking into an Obama campaign office decorated with an Andy Warhol art exhibit. I should have turned around right then as I knew this wouldn't be good, but the options for Ice Cream are limited on-site and since I already ate a chicken/green bean/mashed potato & chocolate chip cookie dinner and an 8 piece chicken wing plate for a mid-evening snack, I said to myself, why not finish the day with some ice cream! So while waiting in line (actually randomly standing in front of the counter b/c there was no actual line and no one actually "working" behind the counter would tell you where to stand or help you) I noticed a bunch of posters touting Fair Trade this and that and peace signs and bunch of other hippie, liberal proganda crap promoting B&J ice cream products. There were pictures of cows and fields. Sunny skies and green pastures. Good old Mother Earth and groups of people holding hands, singing Kumbaya and eating B&J ice cream. It made me feel good that the .04 cents that they use from my $7 Ice Cream purchase was going to projects to end global suffering, the war in Afghanistan and Sarah Palin's Presidental Bid in 2012. At the same time I thought to myself, I just want some damm Ice Cream, and I don't need it to be made of organic milk from vegan cows, that graze on pesticide free fields, milked by members of Code Pink who happen to be dairy farmers. So after careful consideration of the menu, I selected a Fair Trade Caramel Sundae. With a name like Fair Trade, I figured it must be good for something to save the planet. My $7 was not only getting me overpriced ice cream, but I was probably supporting some farmer in Columbia who saved enough money to buy a parcel of the rainforest and save it from being burned down, so I figured the extra cash will be worth it. Anyway after a 10 minute wait to make the damm thing (4 minutes which was for the highly skilled, trained and motivated B&J staff to put whip cream on my "Sundae"), I finally got my treat. Of course as expected, it tasted more like Ice than actual Ice Cream. Your in New York and everything is overpriced and tastes like crap (besides Mammas, Mings and Carmines). On top of that, when do you ever get to eat a "Sundae" that is scooped into a blender, mixed with milk and ice and then blended for 30 seconds and poured into a cup. Last time I went to McDonalds or Friendly's that was knowed as a Milkshake, not a Sundae. A Sundae is a few scoops of ice cream in a cup, with a few toppings and eaten with a spoon. Not blended and poured into a cup and sucked through a straw. My only thought why B&J rebranded a traditional milkshake into a "Sundae" was that Fox News must have done a report how GW and Rumsfield must have liked Milkshakes back in the days after 9-11 and BHO mistakenly read off his teleprompter one time how he liked Sundaes (when he was actually supposed to reference a Milkshake). I digress. But anyway, to enjoy Fair Trade it has a price, like taste, value, quantity and quality! But in the end, that didn't stop me as I slurpped my Sundae in a cup down knowing I did my part to save Mother Earth. I want to thank Ben and Jerry's for being such a great steward to the universe, without their efforts, I probably would of had a cheap air compressed ice cream cone, topped with some hot caramel and peanuts. That would have been bad, as it would have probably cost half the price, come from a diesel powered ice cream machine dispenser (like the kind they have at the Golden Corral or any other respectable buffet restaurant) and covered with "normal" peanuts, which accidentally could have contaminated the next person in the line order. Wouldn't want to have that couple from California get peanuts into their 17-year old child's (who still has a peanut allergy and only eats lactose-free, soy rice, organic frozen dessert) order. My only redeeming moment from this whole experience was after I was finished, I put my emply plastic cup and straw into a normal trash can and not the blue recycle bin. I am hoping that all the time, effort and money wasted by Ben and Jerry to tout their wonderful ways will go to waste, as my one cup will now be a small piece of a landfill that will fill acres of land and will be unusable over the next 250 years or the time it takes that plastic cup to fully combust into Mother Earth's crust. Until next year, I will do my part in not saving the planet by going to DQ, Steak-n-Shake or Carvel.

** To read more about Ben & Jerry's Fair Trade and other useless, idiotic, meaningless policies, read the following link at www.benjerry.com/activism (Personally, I would rather give myself paper cuts and pour lemon juice on them then waste my time reading this, but if you really want to learn more, than read the link)